Aren't we allowed to regret?
All people regret and regretting is dependent on our decisions. Oftentimes, we regret because of wrong decisions - joined an organization, did something wrong, said something. We even regret when we make a good or/and right decision. But yesterday for me was a regretful day.
It was already 3 am that I went to sleep since I had to be busy about a paper that wasn't mine. I mean, I volunteered making a paper that wasn't mine and for my 19 years of existence here on earth, I haven't really made a paper that wasn't mine. I mean, paper, you know, personal ideas. Yet because I pitied that person, I volunteered, which the topic by the way was out of my field. And so I was still unproductive though I slept late. Before I slept, I even tweeted that I had to be in the school to work things out (e.g. thesis, etc.). And then I closed my eyes.
When I opened my eyes, my mom asked me if I'd go to school and talked about our financial status. I brushed off her statements since I was still sleepy that time. I finally woke up from my senses and realized that it's already late in the morning, 8:30 am to be exact. I hurried up, checked my twitter, ate breakfast and so on. I realized that I still hadn't prayed and read the Bible. I am by the way a Christian. And so I prayed and read the Bible and that took me almost two hours. Then I went to my laptop and realized that:
-unfinished paper
-CHEM 160.1 lab reports
-It's already late and I had to be in the school at that time.
And so let's click the fast forward button and I found myself contemplating about the paper, chatting a few people including someone who said things that broke my heart, and starving (no lunch). It was 11:00 am.
I finished the paper, without giving my best at around3:30 pm, still starving, and filthy. Wa pakoy ligo at that time.I then realized that I was very, very unproductive. I wasn't able to do the things that I should do, first. The sadder thing was, I wasn't able to overcome this. This was one of my problems this semester that's why I did not get very good grades. Emotions, oh but I hate emotions. My classmates were already contacting me, since our teacher asked for my presence. Some were tweeting about subjects and I was nervous since I was not still settled with that subject. Fear consumed, anxiety, and so on.
But then again, the throne of grace never fails. I went to a place and decided to unload everything to Him - the unworthiness, the despair, the regrets, the hatred, the hurts, and the worries. Crying out to Him was not enough, it was also being humble before Him that made me free from the said negativities. Praying is purging. After I prayed, it was as if I'd been set free from captivity after a long time. O His sweet grace, mercy, love.
Perhaps, we are allowed to regret. Yet, after we regret, we learn something. Things happen for a reason. We commit mistakes but it is more important to learn and change. I learned that it takes humility to say no. You cannot keep on saying yes to things and end up regretting. Regretting will do you more harm than good. Last thing, decision - it breaks hearts, it builds up, it restores, it can heal, everything. Our decision determines our own condition or the people around us. It's always best to not just think before we decide, but pray. Is the door that is wide open opened by God or by you? REMINDER:
All people regret and regretting is dependent on our decisions. Oftentimes, we regret because of wrong decisions - joined an organization, did something wrong, said something. We even regret when we make a good or/and right decision. But yesterday for me was a regretful day.
It was already 3 am that I went to sleep since I had to be busy about a paper that wasn't mine. I mean, I volunteered making a paper that wasn't mine and for my 19 years of existence here on earth, I haven't really made a paper that wasn't mine. I mean, paper, you know, personal ideas. Yet because I pitied that person, I volunteered, which the topic by the way was out of my field. And so I was still unproductive though I slept late. Before I slept, I even tweeted that I had to be in the school to work things out (e.g. thesis, etc.). And then I closed my eyes.
When I opened my eyes, my mom asked me if I'd go to school and talked about our financial status. I brushed off her statements since I was still sleepy that time. I finally woke up from my senses and realized that it's already late in the morning, 8:30 am to be exact. I hurried up, checked my twitter, ate breakfast and so on. I realized that I still hadn't prayed and read the Bible. I am by the way a Christian. And so I prayed and read the Bible and that took me almost two hours. Then I went to my laptop and realized that:
-unfinished paper
-CHEM 160.1 lab reports
-It's already late and I had to be in the school at that time.
And so let's click the fast forward button and I found myself contemplating about the paper, chatting a few people including someone who said things that broke my heart, and starving (no lunch). It was 11:00 am.
I finished the paper, without giving my best at around3:30 pm, still starving, and filthy. Wa pakoy ligo at that time.I then realized that I was very, very unproductive. I wasn't able to do the things that I should do, first. The sadder thing was, I wasn't able to overcome this. This was one of my problems this semester that's why I did not get very good grades. Emotions, oh but I hate emotions. My classmates were already contacting me, since our teacher asked for my presence. Some were tweeting about subjects and I was nervous since I was not still settled with that subject. Fear consumed, anxiety, and so on.
But then again, the throne of grace never fails. I went to a place and decided to unload everything to Him - the unworthiness, the despair, the regrets, the hatred, the hurts, and the worries. Crying out to Him was not enough, it was also being humble before Him that made me free from the said negativities. Praying is purging. After I prayed, it was as if I'd been set free from captivity after a long time. O His sweet grace, mercy, love.
Perhaps, we are allowed to regret. Yet, after we regret, we learn something. Things happen for a reason. We commit mistakes but it is more important to learn and change. I learned that it takes humility to say no. You cannot keep on saying yes to things and end up regretting. Regretting will do you more harm than good. Last thing, decision - it breaks hearts, it builds up, it restores, it can heal, everything. Our decision determines our own condition or the people around us. It's always best to not just think before we decide, but pray. Is the door that is wide open opened by God or by you? REMINDER:
There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.
-Proverbs 14:12
1 comment:
..so true brada..
Post a Comment